


that mean it’s candy apple red, i’m barbie this is ken

by frogswag



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, But also realistic, Enemies to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Slice of Life, i won’t disclose which relationship that tag is for, mentions of dare i say frat parties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29187090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogswag/pseuds/frogswag
Summary: Na Jaemin moves into an apartment complex with the promise of freedom; until he burns it down in the span of a weekwhat else could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	that mean it’s candy apple red, i’m barbie this is ken

**Author's Note:**

> title from “Megatron” by Nicki Minaj
> 
> this was written on a whim but I hope whoever reads this gets a giggle out of it!! :) only proofread once but don’t think about it too much lmao

  
"Hi, I'm your new neighbor!" A boy who looks around the same age as Jaemin exclaims excitedly, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet while messing with the hem of his t-shirt. 

Na Jaemin stood at the door of his tiny apartment, arms crossed and pink robe draped over his body (instead of properly tied around his waist because he couldn't be bothered to do that for this twink), rethinking his decision to live in this particular apartment building. 

He was fresh out of college - 4 years of studying literature and having the worst possible hangovers right before an 8 am math class - and an itch for freedom from his parents place compelled him to rent an apartment out for the sake of independence and a break from his mom's babying (he's a man now mind you). His father didn't have any complaint about his moving out, but it took a week of hard debating and arguing for Mama Nana to finally accept the fact that her son was 23 years old and deserved some space. Sweet victory was the first thought that crossed Jaemin's mind when his mom agreed to let him move to an apartment complex and out of the house, but that was certainly not the case anymore. 

_A week of living in this place could do that to you,_ Jaemin mused to himself, eyeing the kid standing outside his door warily. He knew how this went. When he moved in a week ago, the first day he was greeted with a newcomer. Yuta was the name of the man who basically made himself at home when he pushed past Jaemin and walked right into his apartment with no introduction whatsoever.

  
For the rest of the week things like this would happen. These new neighbors that had conveniently moved into the apartment complex around the same time as Jaemin would knock on Jaemin's door and when he answered they either A: actually made the time to say their names and shake hands or B: barged into his home without permission and criticize his decorating skills. That last one was specific because it actually happened, but Jaemin would highly disagree as he thinks he has good taste in decorative knick knacks. He didn't minor in interior design for nothing. 

So when this random guy says he's Jaemin's new neighbor and looks very ecstatic to be meeting someone new, well, let's just say Jaemin's a little bit apprehensive about it. It's a little hard to tell the difference between an A or B neighbor and Jaemin doesn't necessarily want to find out which one this dumbass is. 

"Na Jaemin," Jaemin says, extending his hand out towards his neighbor. 

"Mark Lee, but you can call me Mark," The boy, now known as Mark, says with a cheesy grin, taking Jaemin's hand with two hands and shaking it wildly up and down. 

Jaemin snatches his hand away like Mark’s hands were something from Wendy's (man that place sucks) and stuck it in his robe pocket. He scrunched up his nose in disgust because this neighbor was much worse than an A or B neighbor. 

Mark Lee was a C neighbor. 

The type of neighbor that wanted to become friends. Jaemin could feel himself recoil in disgust at the thought. One of these neighbors being friends with him? A complete and total nightmare. No thanks, buddy, Jaemin thought with distaste. I already have plenty of friends that don't live here.

"Sooo," Jaemin drew out, making a clicking noise with his tongue and looking anywhere but Mark. 

"Well, I gotta get going! My stuff won't unpack itself," Mark says, smiling warmly before heading off down the hall. "See ya around!" 

Jaemin waves at Mark, who was already in his room, before groaning and falling back into his own. 

He was about to sit down on his comfy couch for a marathon of rom-coms on his day off from Starbucks Hell when someone spoke from the dark. 

"New neighbor or something?" Jaemin screeches and picks up the nearest item he could find. He looks around his house for the owner of the voice and chokes when his eyes fall on the couch. 

  
“Yuta? What the fuck are you doing in my apartment?” He feels the need to cover up, seeing as how Yuta is basically getting a front row view of his open robed chest.   
  


“Just came by to, I don’t know, scope the place out.” He stands, while Jaemin takes a few steps back. There’s no way he’s letting this man anywhere near him.   
  


Yuta takes a finger and wipes it on the counter in a flicking motion. He grimaces. 

“This place is...musty.”

“Sorry that I haven’t had time to clean. I happened to have, I don’t know, _just moved in_?” Jaemin is furious. No, he is absolutely enraged at the idea of this man just staying at his house without his consent and once again dissing his cleaning skills.

  
Yuta has the audacity to look mildly offended. He crosses his arms. “Listen here, short stack. I come in here expecting a smoking buddy because you reeked of pot when I met you, but hear you already talking to someone so I decide _hey he won’t mind if I make myself at home right?”_

He stops for a minute, seemingly waiting for a reaction. _Finish the damn story,_ Jaemin thinks as he urges him to continue. 

  
“Wrong. Apparently I’m not wanted here anymore than that new guy was earlier, so I will take my leave!” Yuta slips past Jaemin and gradually moves toward the exit as he makes sure Jaemin notices how utterly devastated he is about the whole ordeal.   
  


(He also made sure, Jaemin noticed later, to swipe a brownie or two from the stained kitchen counter).

  
He runs over and sticks his head out the door, looking both ways just to make sure Yuta is gone. Surprisingly, he’s nowhere to be seen. Jaemin sighs.

He sticks his hand in the pocket of his robe and pulls out a blunt. Pre-made because he took the initiative to make one for every day of his first week here before leaving his parent’s house.   
  


He thanks the universe for making past Jaemin a genius because he really needs this right now. An uneasy thought strikes him as he blows some smoke through his teeth into the fan in his living room. An uneasy thought that might break his _No Making Friends_ _With The Neighbors_ rule.

Unfortunately, a smoking partner doesn’t sound bad.

*

  
  
”Hey, man.”

”Yeah?” 

“I shouldn’t have broken into your apartment earlier.” Yuta grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he rolls his blunt between his fingers. “I just assumed you’d be cool with it, I don’t know.”

”Dude, I know where you’re coming from but why the hell would I be cool with you breaking into my place,” Jaemin says, letting out a strew of giggles.

Yuta let’s out a hearty laugh and drops his joint on the carpet. A tiny flame lights up the room. Jaemin’s giggles stop, his eyes glued to the flame. 

”Yuta, man. Are you _seeing_ the shit I’m _seeing_ right now?”

Yuta looks alarmed, turning over to see what he’s talking about. “Man, that?” He asks, pointing at the tiny flame turned big that’s starting to spread to the other side of the apartment.   
  


“Yeah, it-“ he sniffs, furrowing his eyebrows. “Smells like carbon dioxide or something.”   
  


“Smells like teen spirit is a good song.” Yuta giggles and let’s out a yawn. He stretches for a minute before bringing his hand up to his mouth and sucking on air.

  
He scrambles around, searching for his lost joint.   
  


”What the hell? Why did you smoke mine?” 

He turned to Jaemin. His eyes were wide and Yuta could see the fire in them. Not metaphorical, he could see actual fire reflected off his eyes.

”Jaemin, dude, the house is burning.”

  
”Maybe we should...leave.” 

They got up to leave through the front door (which was a complete fire hazard because there were three or four unopened boxes blocking it), but the fire had already spread to it. Panicking, Jaemin led Yuta to an open window, where most of the smoke was leaving through, and hopped out onto the stairs outside.   
  


They ran downstairs, not yet sobered up but not nearly as high as they were, and pulled the fire alarm at the lobby entrance. A high pitched ring sounded throughout the complex, sending people running out of their separate apartments.   
  


15 minutes of standing awkwardly outside while the whole complex gave them the side eye later and the fire department and news crews were there.   
  


A young woman who Jaemin assumed was a journalist ran up to them specifically. _Amongst all these other people? Do we really look like the biggest assholes here?_

  
“Is this live?” Yuta suddenly asked, looking ahead at the cameraman. The cameraman nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

“Here are two witnesses at the scene of the fire at an apartment complex in Seoul,” she shoved the huge microphone at Jaemin with an expectant look on her face. “What happened?”

”Uh,” Jaemin looked over at Yuta, who looked terrified. His face had paled drastically since their little smoking fiasco. It made Jaemin feel worse. “Uh, me and my friend were smoking and he...someone came in and mugged us!”   
  


“Oh my god,” the journalist turned to the camera again, “you heard that right, this horrific fire was started by two muggers. Let’s get more details on this shall we?”

This time it was Yuta, who looked like he was about to piss his pants. “Well, they came through the open window-that we leave open because this complex is so safe-and held us at knifepoint asking us for money.

He kept going. “Anyways, we gave them our money, all the money we had because what else are you gonna do as a minimum wage worker. He flipped through it and told us “not enough”. We said “sir that’s all we have please just take it”. He says to me “I want that cigarette.” So, I give him my cigarette and he drops it onto the carpet. They run out as soon as shit hits the fan, so me and Jaemin, well, we do what any good man would do and we run out and pull the fire alarm.”   
  


Oh my god, Jaemin thought, once again thanking the Universe for yet another genius.   
  


The journalist turned to the camera and said a few more things before reporting back to whatever was going on in the actual newsroom, leaving Yuta and Jaemin to bask in their completely innocent victim stories.   
  


“Dude-“

They started at the same time, awkwardly trying to get a word out before giving up and sitting there in silence. The first responders gave them blankets and a wet rag to wipe the soot off their faces.   
  


“So,” Jaemin starts, wiping the soot off his cheek. He hands it to Yuta who does the same. “We got mugged huh?”

They’re completely sobered up now, save for the fact that they smell like the inside of a greenhouse. “They’re gonna know we started the fire with our pot, there’s no way out of this.”

”And it doesn’t look good on us with real time evidence of us lying our asses off.”   
  


“Guess you could say we’re kind of fucked.”

Jaemin nodded. “Guess you could.”

Cicadas. The sound was all around them given it was the middle of a summer night and it had rained the night before. They were all out, mocking Jaemin and Yuta with their music.   
  


It was embarrassing. He’s most likely going to get fired from Starbucks Hell and Yuta will probably get fired from wherever he works and they’ll have to pay a fine they can’t afford and that doesn’t even cover the expenses of everyone in the complex and-

Yuta placed a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, we got this covered. We’ll just think it through rationally tomorrow morning. Remember, we’re technically victims too so they can’t bombard us with anything tonight.”

Yuta grinned warmly and Jaemin, even though he felt like he had been punched in the dick multiple times, grinned back. 

  
“Let’s go get some sleep.” 

“Yuta, where? My place is completely burned through.”

”My place, duh!”

Jaemin groaned.


End file.
